A Message for Candi.

Okay, so I've recently had occasion to reflect on the collusive impact of the many ups and downs of this crazy, f-ked up polka dance that we call "Life". It seems these days I hear a lot of people complaining (including myself) about how they're not getting what they think they want. Either they're feeling left behind by the bus (academically speaking), or they are unhappy with how they look, or maybe they feel like relationship roadkill (someone who has been philosophically run over so many times that they feel squished flat and are only worthy of scavengers), lonely, frustrated, sad, misunderstood. And I totally get that perspective, because if you've followed this blog, I probably have more reasons than most to curse my my life the past year and a lot of the people in it. But mostly myself; because deeply, everyone blames his or herself for the pain that they recieve as a result of various life occurences. In my opinion, it's our way of taking at least a bit of control for the mostly unfair crap that does happen. Because it's better to feel like a loser than a victim, right?

But what if instead of looking back and saying, "Yeah, I've been through a lot, but things are so much worse now than they were then." and thusly defeating ourselves and adding an element of despair, we could try looking at it this way. "If everything I've been through feels like nothing compared to this, then I must be getting a lot stronger." Yes, life is full of crap. At every turn, we are greeted with a new face of something ugly and probably painful that just can't wait to be our friend. But if you do yourself a favor (and I'm pointing at me, too.) and try to look back and ignore those times, you might just find that your life isn't all crap. Those times are just the bits that you are choosing to remember, out of that generally kickass and pretty damn sweet time that you call your life.

And if it helps, you might just focus on the fact that you may think you suck right now, but there are a LOT of other people who are saying, "Man, I wish I was as awesome as Candice." I know at least one.