So let it be written. I am falling apart.

"Here comes the rain again, falling from the stars. Drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are. As my memory rests, but never forgets what I lost. Wake me up when September ends." This has been the longest September ever. Sometimes nothing cannot be said that will be believed, and only tears can tell the story. It's like the feeling you get when you sing, "I put my trust in you; pushed as far as I can go. For all this, there's only one thing you should know. I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all. But in the end it doesn't even matter." At the end of the day, what are you left with? Only those things that you hold on to, whatever it is that made you feel like you could go on. But what happens when even those things are out of reach? Do you break down, tell yourself you can't move any farther? Do you begin to hate the things you once loved? Do you cry and hope it will help you move on? Or do you cling to something else, whatever is closest and easiest to reach? The scariest times are when you can't remember who you are. Only slightly less earth shattering is when you don't know why you are. Because if you know who you are, you can still love yourself. But if you don't know why you are, then where are you going?

Song of the day: Gwen Verdon, Charity

"Where am I going? And what will I find? What's in this grab-bag that I call my mind? What am I doing alone on the shelf? Ain't it a shame, No one's to blame, but myself... Which way is clear?When you've lost your way year after year? Do I keep falling in love for just the kick of it?Staggering through the thin and thick of it, Hating each old and tired trick of it? Know what I am? I'm good and sick of it! Where am I going? Why do I care?"