Blame the French in Me

Today I'm going to lunch with my uncles and grandparents, the latter of which are in town only for the week. Thankfully. I'm frightened. Hold me, Jack...
It's not that I don't love my family. I do. I have just come to grips with the fact that they are all insane. And my brothers and I are the only normal ones. Do you have any idea what a huge burden it is to be soley responsible for holding up the torch of normalcy in your family line? In order to fully grasp what I mean, you would probably have to know a little more of our history. My grandmother maintains that her side of the family is directly descended from Francis I, the last Duke of Lorraine (who I am apparently named after) who eventually became the Holy Roman Emporer and the father of Marie Antoinette. Unfortunately, he died inexplicably in his carriage on the way home from the Opera. Random? Yes. In a word, that describes my family. My grandma is becoming senile and prone to sudden fits of dementia. She is also obsessed with appearances and propriety and when she is not acting out, does her best to act exactly like Audrey Hepburn. My grandpa is an author and is somehow under the impression that talking for several hours on end about WWII, Jon Wayne, or Tom Clancy novels is enthralling to nearby listeners. My uncles are hilarious, but slightly fond of bringing up inappropriate events and family problems in the wrong situations. We're going to Sundance. This should be fun.

Mindless Emoting

Bites. Itch. All over. I've determined that I'm allergic to mosquito bites. Something I forgot I hate about Summer. Last night was awesome. Slept in until about one this morning. Sad, but not ashamed. Tomorrow morning I have cleaning checks, so I have to get up super early. Am watching Crocodile Dundee. Good movie. Why? Don't know. But I'm quite amused. Went to lunch with Ben and Betty today, then I played Zelda at Ben's house. Totally wasted the giant spider in the first level, then realized how pathetic that was and stopped playing. Went to work and toiled away the night pleasing other people. This song came on the radio on my way home that perfectly described my situation. I think it was called 'make a girl feel good'. Great song. Made me a little sad, but also strengthened my resolve. Man, I hope no one reads this. Not that it would make sense to anyone but me. Still... I have cramps. Think I took too much medicine also. Okay, so seriously now I'm going to stop writing. End.

LAYYYYDIES NIGHT!!!

Tonight is going to be SO awesome. I'm working from 12-300, but then I have tonight off. Racherella, Candice, possibly Betty and I are going to go conquer SLC in the time honored feminine tradition of Ladies' Night! Who knows what kind of disasters will happen when our collective hotness of unbelievable proportions is unleashed on a big city? I'm guessing it will be something like Godzilla to Tokyo. (Except without the screaming Asian people...) Woohoo!

Break Dancing on a Twelve Top

Tonight was the looongest day at work. Crazy. Really. Got a number from some guy named Canada. Not gonna call him, but still nice. I think I'll just keep all of the numbers I get, and then one day I'll start a prank call website with all of those numbers listed. Some might call it mean, but I say hey. If you give your number to some strange waitress, you're begging for a little public ribbing. Anyway, now I have to go unwind, and I'm meeting Guido, Wigs and Hirmburger at Ihop. Cause I had all of the Part B I can handle. It's time to Part-A!!! (if you get this joke, you are as cheezy as I am.)

Peace out!!!

In One Swale Foop

So tonight was alternately super slow and super stressful. Why stressful, you ask, if it was so slow??? Well, for starters, I started out with a party of twelve, and while I didn't really mess anything up per se, it began to seem as if no matter what I did, the table would never be content. These tables do come along every once and a while, and so I was not too distraught. But then, I got moved over and almost immediately had three tables within a five minute period. This wasn't bad either, except it seemed that they would seat me at the worst possible time, right when I was in the middle of taking an order, or as my ticket was dropping in the kitchen. And then there were the shirts. Damn whoever invented the Eternal Coupon. I swear the host was giving them to me out of some sadistic, boredom motivated ploy. Okay, maybe I'm giving her far to much credit as a criminal mastermind, when I really should just be blaming bad luck. I don't know. I think the thing that got to me the most was that David was being such a jerk today. It was as if he came to work having problems with me already. Everything I did was seen as misconduct, and used as an excuse to berate me verbally several times. I even came close to tears on one occasion, and I NEVER cry in front of people. At least not from my feelings being hurt, I'm usually very good at pretending not to be offended by the abuse of others. But that's probably because I usually blame their behavior on something I wasn't doing that I should have been. It's not that I'm a people pleaser, I just give myself a lot more responsibility in the creation of any given situation. So anyway, I felt like I was walking on eggshells for about the last three hours of work. Stupid restaurant politics. Oh well. I think the main underlying reason that I was so sensitive tonight though was that I am beginning to dread the tragic and upcoming loss (okay so it's temporary) of two of my newest and dearest friends. Guido and Blue Razz are both leaving this next week, and I honestly don't know how I am going to cope without them. I would never tell them this, of course. Otherwise they would think I'm an oversensitive, emotional girl. Oh crap... they'll probably end up reading this at some point now that I think about it. Blast... Oh well. I don't care. Let them call me a girl if they want to. I love those boys. Also, we're going to go into business together soon anyway. Lest we forget, we're making purses!!! ...That sounds so gay when you think about it. Man am I ever tired. I do believe that this is probably the longest blog I have ever written. Well, probably not. Okay, now it's time for me to sleep.

Editorial Disclaimer: The author of this blog wishes to emphasize the fact that this was written under the influence of little sleep, and the residual effects of doing too much laundry prior to spending waaay too much time at Los Hermanos. Comments contained therein are therefore to be disregarded as inane babble and not used later as fodder for jokes. Robbie, that means YOU.

Olly 

http://photos1.blogger.com/img/275/5687/640/Livvie.jpg
My Best Friend Olivia. I miss her so...

Zippo

Tonight, Robbie, Chris and I decided that we shall revolutionize the world using only Zippers. How is this possible, you ask? Well... we're actually not quite suer yet. But we're working on it. And if anyone asks years later when we're rich and famous, we will all deny any affiliation whatsoever with small villiages in Brazil. Or sweatshops. Or Gina and Jon. Well, okay we did promise them each 5%. But that's partially to keep them from talking to the press about our less than reputable entreprenurial origins. Okay, so that was a random tangent. Anyway, I'm sure that you'll be hearing more about this little creative phenomenon soon, so I won't go on. Sufficed to say, we're awesome. And you'll want to start kissing up to us pretty soon, before it's too late.
Muahaha! Yay capitalism!!!

I Got a Dollar Hey Hey Hey Hey...

Holy Los Hermanos! Tonight was soooo slooowwwww. I was closing, and I had fourteen customers. En todo. And that was the extent of my working today. Luckily for me, this tragic occupational boredom did not last the entire day, thanks to Jon C. He took my morning shift, and it was a good thing because that way I only had to spend five hours being harassed by the new cook, instead of ten. I swear, I had gotten used to the general fare of Mexican sexual harrassment, and that I could deal with. Juan and Eduardo are always acting skeezy, but I usually just laugh it off. This guy is just too much. It's getting ridiculous. Today, he asked John H. if Ben was overly protective of me, as his sister. John, (acting rather thickly if you want my opininon) goes: "No, I don't think he even cares that much." Then the new guy proceeded to share his relief and say that he was now going to plan on asking me out. John realized his mistake at that point, but it was too late. Awesome, John. So I made him (Johnny) walk me out to my car after closing, fearing that I would be cornered by "Goody" a third time tonight. The specific details of those previous encounters I will elect not to recount.

So let's see, what else happened today? Oh yes. I slept in horribly late again. Well, not really because I got up at ten and then went back to bed half an hour later. So it was really a nap. Sort of. Anyway, so then Nicole comes over and we decide to darken my hair, which was partially because I had the stuff already, and also I'm tired of being called a Redhead. So we did that, and then Colee recieved a call from Kodey at work who finally got around to asking her out! They went out tonight as I understand, though I'm still standing by for the complete details. I am so disgustingly pleased with myself. I hope they get married.

All in all, today was a good day. I decided to have a positive attitude at work, so I was able to give really good service, was therefore tipped incredibly well, and also managed to write off my ongoing workplace harassment as a form of compliment, thus boosting my self-esteem. Nevermind that I don't get to go see Star Wars tonight. Esta bien.

Peace out!

This is my adorable brother, Josh. And yes, that is a ninja sword.

Muahaha ha.

Blue Razberry strikes again!!! Saved is an excellent movie. No really, I don't think I was anything like that in high school. Shame on you for saying so, Hax.

Very criptic, that. Wasn't it? I'm sorry, but I'm tired and it's raining. I can never quite think straight when it's raining. The sound of it tinkling on the roof makes me want to just curl up in a ball and be lulled amiably to sleep. Fortunately, my neighbors, who decided to have a rather loud break-up session (closely followed by a make-up, then re-breakup) just outside my window shortly after 2am had to retire inside tonight due to the foul weather. Needless to say, I'm not really missing them much. However, I do wish that I had thinner walls so that I could hear the sound of the rain more clearly. I do so love the sound of rain. Hmm, that sounds like a song doesn't it?

Anyway, very important stuff happened today. Cosas muy importantas. My brother Josh came home from Mexico!!! (Home as in Oregon, not here. Meh.) But still, I am so jazzed. Y'all have NO idea how much I've been missing him, and now it is only a precious few weeks until he'll be here. I'm supposed to spread the world to make sure that there's plenty of cute, fun, under 21 respectable girls lined up for him to date when he gets here. I'm sure that won't be a problem. He's a total babe. I mean, just look at his family... hehe.

So I'm going to go to sleep now, (I promise.) But I just wanted to leave you all, my dear friends with a thought of the day:

"Rules are made to be broken. So are bones and hearts." - Clint Eastwood
(I disagree with the hearts and bones part, but I'm not going to tell Clint that!)

Estoy Allegre

Pienso que este dia sera un dia muy bueno.

Blargh.

Tonight, I was so blitzingly tired that I could barely think straight. Straightly. Straightified. Okay wait I AM so tired I can barely think. At all. Anyway, so why am I writing this instead of sleeping? That is an excellent question. I think it's because I just needed to rant. The sad part though is that the things I need to rant about cannot be contained on this blog because people would find it and people can't read what I have to rant about because then they would know and there would no longer be any point in ranting. So there we go. We have just heard my rant on ranting. Now I will conclude with a thought: I wish I went with my gut feelings more often and just did impulsive things once in a while, rather than weighing the consequences and then doing, or more rather, waiting for something crazy and awesome to happen on its own. Their own. Whatever. So my point dear friends is this: Rant. Rant, rant rant rant rant. There. I have now sufficiently ranted and am now ready to go to bed. Though, somehow, I still don't feel like I've solved the problem. Owell, live to try another day. End of message.

Los Amigos Del Taco

Okay, 3:45 am. This kind of behavior has GOT to stop. Man, I love college life, but if I can't wake up before noon tomorrow, I'm going to have to start caffienating in the MORNING. And that's the first sign of addiction. So tonight, I worked until closing again, and had exactly 14 customers the whole night. This was a fair bit slower than my whopping 20 covers the night before. Hmm... maybe it only SEEMED busier than it actually was, and there is in fact another parallel universe in which time is merely an illusion. I think I have become lost in that universe these past couple of days. Maybe it's just that I've been, well, distracted of late. This is the first time I have stayed up so late so many nights in a row since I was dating Chad. At least then there was somewhat of a reason. And yet, somehow, I never did have as much fun then as I am having now. Maybe it's because I'm hanging out with cooler people. Plus, with Chad I never got to change a tire wearing crazy 80's clothes. Yes, that must definitely be it.

Well, anyway, after work, and after subtely trying to tempt Chris into joining us for yet another night of revelry (and failing btw... dang, I'm losing my edge.) We (Robbie, Wiggle, Glade, and I, and strangely my brother Ben and Betty) all met at Vermillion and played Scrabble for a couple of hours. This was fun, except for the fact that we were sans Chris, and as a result Robbie wasted us all quite nicely. Glade then decided that he had a deep and immediate need for Betos. So Wiggle went home and I played cheauffer for Guido and Forest to Beto's, which was I'm afraid to report, shockingly CLOSED. How can this be, you ask? Well, I still harbor strong suspicions that the cooks decided that they didn't feel like making any more food and so they told us that the kitchen was broken so we would go away. So we went to Del Taco instead.

After a long wait, and after Robbie had called the consumer comment line at LEAST three times to give them a play-by-play on the progress of our order, the cordial manner of the employee, how long we were waiting, etc. We thought it would be witty to go back and actually eat the Del Taco food while sitting IN Betos. This was a marvelous plan, though sadly we returned to good old FishMex to discover that the cooks had wised up and locked the doors. So we ate, and then I took the boys to their respected homes, and then returned to my own humble abode, feeling rather sick to my stomach because Del Taco is little better than Betos in that it causes tummy tremors up to three days post-consumption.

Anyway, I really do have to sleep now. But if anyone ever reads this, I'm sorry about the novella that I just wrote. Next time I'll try to keep it shorter.

meh

Jetlag

Alright, who on earth in their right mind would stay up until three in the morning tinkering around on the interenet and writing blogs? Well, apparently there are many such whoms. And I am now one of the unfortunate individuals to join their ranks. Curse you and your addictive website, Chris. Okay, so this morning I woke up at ten. And then I woke up again at noon, and then again at two in the afternoon. That was the point at which I decided, This has got to stop. I can't believe I slept in so late! I am the product of so much self discepline, but misplaced in the wrong areas. Good gracious! I shall now have to formulate a plausible story about how I traveled to Bhali or some other unfortunately distant place, only to return early this morning with a severe case of jetlag. Yes, that's the ticket...

What to do when your beached and a whale

Okay, so I recently read a rather depressing, slightly disturbing, but altogether hilarious remark from a dear friend and colleague of mine who I would like to refer to in this mean as "Chris". In a summary statement of his life at the moment, he inferred that his academic and financial careers were going swimmingly, but that, socially, he was somewhat of a beached whale. Now, nevermind the immediate mental picture that this invokes. What is clearly important is that this statement is not only ridiculous, (and a gross overeggageration of his size, for he is quite thin) but most definitely erronious. Chris, do me a favor and reexamine your situation. When you do, I feel that you will quite clearly see that when one finds oneself in the position of a beached whale, there is only one viable solution. Use your superior mass (of coolness) to roll over onlooking pedestrians and return to the tranquil blue of kicking back, relaxing, and realizing that you have many awesome friends such as myself who don't think you even remotely resemble a whale.