So I just got off the second most random phone call I have ever received. I officially do not understand men. Or maybe it's just this person. It's the middle of the work day, and he calls me just to see what I'm doing. Which would be understandable if we had like an ongoing string of conversation or a defined relationship of some kind. But this person is someone who I briefly met right before I left, went on one date with, and then figured I'd never see or hear from him again. But, in seeming defiance of all rules or reasoning, he has called me I think about three times since I've been here. Which is strange, because every time I talk to him, it's like he just called me yesterday. But we're not dating! I didn't even think he liked me. I mean sure, there was a slight part of me that hoped he would call or write for the first few days after I moved, but after a week or so I quickly forgot those hopes and moved on.
But then out of the blue he would call. And the most unnerving part is that each time there is nothing special or even really flirtatious about what he says (even though I admit I can't imagine what this person's flirtatious would be like) but it always leaves me wondering why he calls. I assumed that he would forget about me sooner than certain other persons, whose name I won't mention but who professed their deep and all-consuming love for me shortly before I left---and who less than three weeks later was as done as forty minute eggs. So why the endurance? I don't call this person, nor have I given them any indication that I need them to call me.
This begs the question, are some people actually considerate enough to call you just because? Or is there always another motive? Because of my history, I am prompted to go with the latter, but then this person's motive would still be a complete mystery regardless. What could possibly be gained by calling a girl once every three weeks or so? If he was calling me every time he thought about me, then I should be offended I think. I don't call people unless I really miss them and need to hear their voice, or unless they call me. Where here I don't think either is the case, I wonder if I'm the only one he calls. Maybe it's simply because I'm the one that got away? For some reason I'm always left wishing that I had practiced something engaging and witty to say, instead of just "how are you" and "well, I'm glad you're doing okay." But he always seems to catch me totally off guard and unprepared. But if I'm to be truly honest, I don't think I've ever really forgotten him completely. And maybe that is his only plan, strange as it seems.
So what is a girl to do? Should I give up on this person as anything other than a friend, (because surely someone who wanted to be something more would make more effort, right?) and not think anything of his random calls? Should I stop answering, and see if he truly does forget me? Yet at the same time I'm so intrigued by the idea that someone could keep me out of sight and still in mind for so long, that the thought of someone dedicated and mature enough to wait for me might not be such a bad thing to hope for. That is something I cannot afford to wish, not at this point. Maybe I should continue to expect nothing, as I have always done, until someone forces me to imagine something more.
I hate the phone when it doesn't ring. But sometimes it's worse when it does.
