Veronica Needs...

Okay, so this is a game that I presume Robbie made up. Basically, you Google your name and "needs" in quotes, and copy and paste the first 20 results. Mine were funny, and a little scary at times. For some reason mostly about TV shows and orphans...

Veronica needs a diary!

Veronica needs to do some fun episodes by Battousai (I'm gonna go look that up.)

Veronica needs an experienced structured family who will provide strong guidance and mentoring. (true)

Veronica needsto show sum more now!! (really?)

Veronica needs to work on the stakeout skills.

Veronica needs to give Logan a break and stop accusing him of thingshe didn't do. (Whaa?)

Veronica needs to not answer her phone.

Veronica needs to stop seeingher daughter as evidence that she was suckered. (uhh...)

Veronica needs to make extra money

Veronica needs to find inspiration for a poem (how about misery?)

Veronica needs to find and stop the people responsible fora drug operation on Catalina Island (I'll get back to you on that one)

Veronica needs your help!

Veronica needs to smoke (well, if Google says so...)

Veronica needs to get to hospital NOW.

Veronica needs a second repair.

Veronica needs something (like a wire tap or a phone trace). (I didn't write that part)

Veronica needs her mommy!!

Veronica needs to go.

Veronica needs a lot of help with her English, including speaking, reading, and writing.

Veronica needs prayer for healing for her heart against rejection. (woah...creepy Google.)

... 

When Life Just Sucks...

So, I've recently had many, many occasions to reflect on a favorite saying often drummed into me in my youth: "When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade." However, for me, this adage presents one very formiddable problem. I freaking HATE lemonade. It's not that I disapprove of it as a refreshing beverage, and nothing personal towards the no doubt ingenious inventor of lemonade, it's just that I have loathed the taste of lemonade since childhood. This is probably because no matter how much sugar you pour into it, or how many other types of fruit you add to it, the taste is still a little bit bitter. To me, this is very symbolic of why that saying is total crap.
Having recently been given the opportunity to finally know what it feels like to have one's heart stolen, smashed, beaten beyond recognition and then unceremoniously returned, I would just like to thank whoever coined the term, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." For, every time someone tells me this, I am reminded of Tommy Lee Jones, who looked the quoter of this phrase dead in the eye, and with a very pissed off expression said "Try it sometime." This is how I feel when people give me crappy cliche advice. No doubt, this is how everyone feels, tasting the bitter sting of heartbreak and confronted by some jackass who thinks he knows something about your pain because he's memorized a cheesy line from Shakespeare. Universally, this type of advice is pretty much uncool.
Something I've learned these past few weeks, is that no matter how awesome and kick-trash you think you are, how quickly and well you seem to have been able to get over it, or how much of a jerk your ex-true love has proven him/herself to be, you will inevitably find yourself in a moment where you are confronted by something that makes you realize that all your admirable progress has been a lie. That, no matter how much work you've put in, how much sugar you've added, or how much other fruit you've put in trying to disguise the taste, your lemonade still tastes like lemonade. And you realize that you still hate the taste of lemonade.

And by the way...

PS - You can't use the insult "banana rat fink" on any of your blogs because I just made it up. It's mine, and I'm going to try to patent it so that every time someone says it, they have to pay me 10 cents. Of course, I'm hoping to have a little more success than Paris Hilton did while trying to patent "That's hot." But I think mine's a little more original, if I say so myself.

PSS - No, I'm not smoking anything.

PSSS - I think I'm going to go take my religion exam now.

My Beautiful Family. Now accepting bids...

So, I've been thinking. I haven't blogged in forever, but that point is moot. I need to blog SOMETHING, and frankly my friends, you kindof missed the boat on the whole "rant angrily about lost love and lying boyfriends" week(s). Lucky you. So I now turn my attention to the topic of the current week: why does nobody call me anymore??? Honestly, I mean, not even my MOM has called me more than twice in the past week, and believe me when I say that that's truly abnormal. Even with my current single status, I believe that I should be getting at least some, if not more than usual phone calls. You have no idea how depressing it is to leave class after four hours and not have a single missed call, text message, anything. So triste... Anyway, so my latest goal (actually pretty much the goal of my life to date) has been to learn something new EVERY DAY. I've taken a popular euphamism and turned it into a veritable life calling, so it seems. So here is what I learned today, ladies and gentlemen. Did you know that *67 works even on cell phones? My ingenious roomate figured this out today and I decided to give it a try. It's amazing. You could call the president up on his little red Nokia with this sucker and you could call him a banana rat fink; and for all he would know it was crazy Condalisa playing a prank. Beautiful. God bless modern technology.