Your Mom's Jokes

So, tonight I was hashing (which is what comes before later when you re-hash) some stuff over with my friends Evangelic and Robot, and the subject of Your Mom jokes came up. It had never occurred to me as yet that most people are a) getting really tired of hearing YM jokes all the time, and also that b) Everyone's becoming desensitized to them because everyone knows they're not really meant to be derogatory, and so they're shrugged off or ignored.

Now, I myself have come to be somewhat of a connoisseur of the Your Mom Joke, and I was replete with disdain (much like the French) at the thought of such usable jabs falling into disuse and neglect. Therefore, we decided that it might be time to amp up the Maternal Insult Repotoire, or otherwise the MIR. (YMJ also applies)

These ones that we mentioned are both a little more effective and for most, a little more comfortably close to home:

*Your Mom is so fat she has type 2 Diabetes.

*Your Mom didn't go to college, and therefore is now forced to file 1040EZ tax forms.

*Your Mom is so technologically impaired, she can't even handle basic e-mail applications.

*Your Mom is so ugly, your Dad hits on her book club friends instead.

*Your Mom got fired from Mary Kay, because she just couldn't exploit her close friends.

*Your Mom gets mad when your Dad drinks, and he gets mad when she eats.

*Your Mom could pose for a Martha Stewart wanted poster.

*Your Mom got arrested for falsifying US citizenship.

*Your Mom works in a Wal-Mart.

*Your Mom got pregnant with you on accident.

*Your Mom is so slow, it takes her at least 20 minutes to get anywhere.

*Your Mom is so annoying, telemarketers hang up on her.

*Your Mom is not as righteous as my mom.

*Your Mom can't bag her own groceries.

*Your Mom can't pump her own gas. Except in Oregon.

*Your Mom is so old, she has to have regular breast exams.

You see, add a little more honesty into the mix, and you've got yourself a whole new world of offensiveness just waiting to be tapped. Happy YourMomming!