Little People and Pink iPods

I think I may be going to hell after today. I swear, just when I think I've become so well adjusted and in control that I can act with grace in any given situation, something happens. Or the perfect opportunity arises to spew something embarrassing in front of masses of people. Or, for example, I'm sitting at the bar eating my lunch and a totally tough looking snowboarder dude walks in and sits down beside me, plopping his hot pink iPod down on the bar next to him. Then, when I'm politely refraining from even thinking of commenting, a midget sits down on the other side. Total comedy overload.

It almost sounds like the beginning of a cliche joke. A midget, a gay snowboarder, and a mormon walk into a bar... then I realize, what kind of a horrible, insensitive person am I!!!? I haven't said anything rude, stared, avoided, or done anything out of the ordinary, but suddenly I feel like a total, well, prick for even thinking about the possibility that these people are in some way funny.

Then suddenly, just as I'm about to abandon all control and choose the lesser of the two cliches and forever damn myself to insensitivity and crassness by demeaning this poor guy's iPod, the midget pipes up next to me, "Hey buddy, did you have to borrow that from your sister or are you just into breast cancer awareness?" I chortled into my Coke. "Actually, it matches my snowboard." joked the boarder. Man, I realized, I'm out of my league here.

Now I have two new friends, Chad the midget and Nick the macho snowboarder who loves the color pink. Is there anything more random than that? And yes, I probably will go to hell.